Thursday, June 18, 2009

"Im so lonely,

surrounded by people who know me but dont know a thing, So I'm trying to come clean."

Hi, Im Jessica. I have clinical depression and major sleep disorders. I blog too much. I've given up and Im done trying. I'm a terrible person. I do things I know I shouldn't. Who doesnt? I want a place to feel safe, a home. Im in need of a best friend. Someone I can actually count on for once. Everytime I get close to someone, I lose them. I dont exist to most people I come in contact with. I feel invisible constantly. I think I make myself invisible. I am not comfortable around anyone. No one knows who I really am. Not even me. So I guess I cant be myself if I dont know who myself is. I am constantly tearing myself down. I have absolutely no self esteem. Even though I am afraid to be alone, Im getting used to it. I dont believe anything good will ever happen to me. I guess you could call me pessimistic, and I am.
Im sorry if you dont understand me. I dont expect you to.

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