Im home. Yay, I guess. It was alright. I spent the majority of my nights in the dorm alone or somewhere with Ryan or Khloe. The work sites were good, though. I had the best time. Ryan and Michael are serious the greatest guys ever. ahah. On Thursday night Ryan, Sowards, Anna and I had a really good conversation. Normally, I wouldnt want to talk about it with more than just Anna around. But I think it was a good thing that Ryan was there, so I have someone else to talk to and all. He and I are so much closer, and that's good. But I feel like I've drifted from every other person at church. And it sucks. Im not good at conversation with people. Im not good at carrying on conversation. I make people awkward, I've noticed. People have no idea what they're supposed to say to me. Why cant you just talk to me like a normal person? I may not be totally normal. But Im a person, and I can talk about the same things as anyone else. I dont understand.
Ohh, new best friend [: Me and Kayla have decided we're best friends. ahaha. We're making plans to hang out, so maybe I'll actually have somewhat of a social life. But, probably not.
You get my hopes up. Like usual, they are false hopes. I try not to think about you so much. But I just cant help it. You mean so much to me. And I really dont understand how I can be so in love with someone I am totally invisible to, but it sucks. Sometimes I just want to erase the day we first really started talking. I wish I could just erase that one thing from my memory. Like in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. You still remember it, and it happened. But I dont. I wonder how you'd feel if I had no idea who you were. Would you even notice? Or would things stay the same? God. That would absolutely kill me if you erased me from your memory..